Good day to all. I thought I would give a little background/testimony to how my CHRISTian poetry got started.(And yes, I always try to capitalize CHRIST, GOD, etc. If we as humans capitalize the first letter of our names, then I think GOD should have every letter of HIS NAME in caps. I believe HE deserves it. But, hey, that's just me.).
I'll try to keep this background/testimony short(Yeah, right!).
I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety disorder for most of my life.(That's right, I said suffered. Past tense. As in all gone. So, yes, there's hope if you suffer from this disorder. Keep reading.). After looking back on my life, I can first pinpoint these attacks dating back to middle school(1978-80). I was told I was just shy. Be outgoing. Go make more friends. But somehow, I had tons of friends. Yet, some days, I didn't want to be around anyone. It made me feel weird and isolated. I didn't want anyone to notice that something was wrong with me. I felt like I would get extremely nervous for no reason. From out of the blue. I would start shaking. Start sweating. For no apparent reason. Definitely didn't want people seeing that. I just wanted to run and hide. I wouldn't have the attacks every day. Sometimes weekly, sometimes monthly, but always there. Always around the corner. When things were really bad, it would be daily for a few weeks, until they subsided, for a short period of time. So years and years went by living in fear.
It was in April 1992 that I was first diagnosed with this disorder. I had gotten tired of having these attacks, so I went to a doctor and finally found out what was happening to me(That's when I first heard the words "panic attacks" and "anxiety disorders."). So the first step the doctor told me to take was therapy. See a Psychologist. I did. Didn't help much. I did learn proper breathing in these situations, as long as these situations were minimal. If it wasn't minimal, I would forget whatever training they had tried to give me for beating these things. After a few years, it was time for the next step.(Next step? Usually when you're taking steps, you're going somewhere. I felt like I was standing still during all of this.).
Next was to see a Psychiatrist. Get some medicine. Try this miracle drug. Didn't work. Try that miracle drug. Didn't work. Let's be a "guinea pig." Okay, that drug finally worked. "Oops, have to take you off of it, because it had side effects we didn't know about." Try another miracle drug. Helps some, not as much as the other miracle drug, but it will suffice.
There were even times when I didn't want to take medicine. I would be doing pretty good, then I would stop taking them. Then I would "fall" even worse. So I finally decided that when I found something this time, I would take the medicine the rest of my life if I had to. I had my mind made up. Whatever it took to function. The "guinea pig handlers" finally found something that would suffice.(As I previously mentioned in the above paragraph. Okay, so I like saying "suffice". So? It's a "cool" word. I mean, it does have the word "ice" in it after all.). It wasn't a total cure, but at least it was something anyway.
I was finally able to get back into church and stay in church around April 2002. Slowly, I started getting close to GOD. Again. Seems I would get close, then dump HIM. Get close. Dump HIM. Finally I wasn't letting go and GOD knew that. So then after being a "guinea pig" for over 10 years, something happened.
GOD laid upon my heart back in November 2002(Around my birthday. Remember that this November. I'm not opposed to gifts. Just saying.) that I didn't need this medicine. That's right! The miracle drug I tried so hard to find to cure me--I DID NOT NEED! The miracle drug that seemed to help me, most of the time, but not all of the time, because I still had panic attacks from time to time.(That did rhyme a lot didn't it? The same word, but still a rhyme). That's right. Still had them. Wow! Some miracle drug, huh?
GOD told me that there's nothing wrong with medicine, but with what I have, I just needed HIM! There's no miracle drug for me. Just HIM!
So immediately I thought, "Was that HIM? Or is that me just trying to quit taking medicine again?" So I prayed about it. Yep, it was HIM!! I stepped out on Faith and stopped taking the medicine. Then, just two months later in January 2003, CHRISTian poetry started to pour out of me. And you want to know something?...
I'VE NEVER HAD ANOTHER PANIC ATTACK AGAIN!! EVER!! Panic attack and anxiety disorder free.(I like free stuff. And this was the best free stuff of all time!). Ever since that day in November 2002, I've been SET FREE. So since that time, the CHRISTian poetry started in January 2003. Joined the choir for a few years(You really don't want to hear me sing. Apparently the church didn't either. No one begged me back. Though I can't complain. They did love the poetry!). Became a Youth Leader in August 2005.(Stepped down in June 2012 to focus on Pastoral studies...and apparently CHRISTian blog ministry!). Became a Deacon in October 2006.
So, yes I'm dedicated to GOD and I've dedicated my life to HIM for so many reasons. JESUS saved me by dying on the Cross and forgiving me of my sins(I was saved by the BLOOD OF THE LAMB in 1983. I "fell" away in 1986 for a while--but that's another story for another time--but I came back for good in April 2002! Thank YOU, JESUS for never giving up on me!). Then HE released me from my bondage of panic and anxiety. That's what believing in JESUS and having Faith is all about!
So that's that in a nutshell(Or a coconut shell. I don't think all that would've fit in a nutshell.). Poem #2, "Say Hello To JESUS" is coming out tomorrow. Hopefully, you will return! Thanks for listening, uh, reading. Have a BLESSED day! Let's always try to use THE "LIGHT" WORDS!
(You can also follow me on Twitter @DonAcree and leave comments at #thelightwords, as well as on here). Thanks!
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